We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Paradoxical Longing

by Tangled Memories

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD  or more

     

1.
Each moment is something for nothing Projecting fear because you want something from it Could you take any more than you give How could you take any more than you give Something for nothing Pulling me under again Something for nothing Pulling me under again Under again Something for nothing Pulling me under Pulling me under again Can’t settle for nothing Become what I wasn’t I must rise above it again This life is my own I’m doomed to repeat If I cannot learn to create what I need Learn to create Learn to relate Learn to create what I need What I need What I need What I need Learn to create what I need I fall to the side If I choose to lie Lie in defeat Selfless to beat Look in the mirror Choose to repeat No chance to create Something more for me Something more for me Something more for me Something more for me More for me More for me yeah Each moment is something for nothing Projecting fear because you want something from it Could you take any more than you give How could you take any more than you give Something for nothing Pulling me under again Something for nothing Pulling me under again Under again Something for nothing Pulling me under Pulling me under again Can’t settle for nothing Become what I wasn’t I must rise above it again
2.
These thoughts in my mind played out Feels quicker then I start to fade out All my doubts All my fears My potential Ringing clear Something gained Something lost Trusting when you feel you’re gone Like no place could feel like home Like this life is on your own There’s no one to call your home But you can call yourself your own You can call yourself your home You can call yourself your own Till it’s gone Till it’s gone Till I know that I made it out alive That I made it out alive That I made it out alive That I made it out alive That I made it out alive Out alive Out alive Out of love Out alone In the end there’s no decision Just a clouded over vision Sentimental intermission Destructive and submissive Till I tear myself apart Till I tear myself apart Till I tear myself apart Till I tear myself apart Self apart Till I tear myself apart All my doubts All my fears My potential Ringing clear Something gained Something lost Trusting when you feel you’re gone Like no place could feel like home Like this life is on your own There’s no one to call your home But you can call yourself your own You can call yourself your home You can call yourself your own Till it’s gone Till it’s gone Till I know that I made it out alive That I made it out alive That I made it out alive That I made it out alive That I made it out alive Out alive Out alive Out of love Out alone
3.
If dreams become reality Still living in insanity The fixtures in my mind Will surely deconstruct over time My willingness to display Holding me back to create A life that I associate Pushing through to separate The circumstance that I create Without a chance to hesitate Slowly beginning to branch Watching the mirror for change Descending upon the deranged Can’t find the words to arrange All of my thoughts start to change Feelings become the estranged Slowly embezzle my name Carving it out with the fame Slowly detached from the gain Can’t take away all the strain It’s all of the same It’s all of the same It’s all of the same Can you rise through Can you start new Can you recreate a reality that suits you That it moves you That it takes you to your greatest height A reality that’s out of sight Your picture perfect kind of life Slowly beginning to branch Watching the mirror for change Descending upon the deranged Can’t find the words to arrange All of my thoughts start to change Feelings become the estranged Slowly embezzle my name Carving it out with the fame Slowly detached from the gain Can’t take away all the strain It’s all of the same Can’t take away all the strain It’s all of the same Slowly embezzle my name Carving it out with the fame Slowly detached from the gain Can’t take away all the strain It’s all of the same
4.
Left unattended My heart reprimanded I keep in silence till the end of my days Visions stirring close Visions blurring most The push and the pull of the current The feeling of the heart when it hurts the most Visions stirring close Visions blurring most The push and the pull of the current The feeling of the heart when it hurts the most Fear from the host Trapped in the post Apocalyptic feeling Abandoned by most The feeling arose When there is no believing Eyes are deceiving My life is misleading Return to find meaning From outside pretending To inner depending Is there any true vision That I can rely on Is there any true vision That I can rely on Because I wanted more I feel it all the time I feel it all the time It’s weighing on my mind Tearing me up inside Pulling me down in strides Forward progression to single me out Frequently changing without a doubt Because I wanted more I feel it all the time I feel it all the time It’s weighing on my mind Tearing me up inside Pulling me down in strides Forward progression to single me out Frequently changing without a doubt Fear from the host Trapped in the post Apocalyptic feeling Abandoned by most The feeling arose When there is no believing Eyes are deceiving My life is misleading Return to find meaning From outside pretending To inner dependent Is there any true vision That I can rely on Is there any true vision That I can rely on Because I wanted more I feel it all the time I feel it all the time It’s weighing on my mind Tearing me up inside Pulling me down in strides Forward progression to single me out Frequently changing without a doubt Because I wanted more I feel it all the time I feel it all the time It’s weighing on my mind Tearing me up inside Pulling me down in strides Forward progression to single me out Frequently changing without a doubt
5.
Fighting back these feelings To give you everything Over the moon Over the moon for you Is it too soon My thoughts under pressure With you I could feel it all With you I know I could fall With you I know I could fall My thoughts under pressure With you I could feel it all With you I know I could fall With you I know I could fall With you I know I could fall With you I know I could fall With you I know I could fall With you I know I could fall My soul in division Can’t tell if you’re in it Can’t tell if I’m there There In your heart There in your thoughts There when we part How can I separate when were drifting apart My soul in division Can’t tell if you’re in it Can’t tell if I’m there There In your heart There in your thoughts There when we part How can I separate when were drifting apart Is it too late to restrain Is this love that I have in vain Is it causing me this pain Because I don’t understand it the same Will it all just depend On what you have to say Am I just to pretend That my needs won’t remain My soul in division Can’t tell if you’re in it Can’t tell if I’m there There In your heart There in your thoughts There when we part How can I separate when were drifting apart My soul in division Can’t tell if you’re in it Can’t tell if I’m there There In your heart There in your thoughts There when we part How can I separate when were drifting apart When we’re drifting apart When we’re drifting apart When we’re drifting apart When we’re drifting apart My thoughts under pressure With you I could feel it all With you I know I could fall With you I know I could fall My thoughts under pressure With you I could feel it all With you I know I could fall With you I know I could fall
6.
Holding On 04:08
An ode my old self Always looking holding on To what is dead and gone Hoping things will get better That all things will seem to matter Seem to matter It’s a matter of perspective I’ve lost sight of my objective I’m not seeing myself in the same way In the same way I’m not seeing myself in the same way Passive thoughts I’ve tried to calm my head Not enough of what I do captures what I’m worth Feeling all sorts of things that I can’t explain If I start to feel it all I will go insane I will go insane I will go insane I will start to lose every single fucking thing If I go insane If I go insane I will start to lose every single fucking thing Every single thing Every single thing Every single thing No one else to blame Every single day Every single day Oh yeah no one else to blame For everything turning out the same For everything turning out the same Same as it ever was Passive thoughts I’ve tried to calm my head Not enough of what I do captures what I’m worth Feeling all sorts of things that I can’t explain If I start to feel it all I will go insane I will go insane I will go insane I will start to lose every single fucking thing If I go insane If I go insane I will start to lose every single fucking thing I will go insane I will go insane I will start to lose every single fucking thing If I go insane If I go insane I will start to lose every single fucking thing I will go insane I will go insane I will start to lose every single fucking thing If I go insane If I go insane I will start to lose every single fucking thing
7.
This distance between us It’s more than I am Letting go of everything I ever thought I’d have This whole situation The man that I am There’s something I’m missing Through our devastation Here I stand Here I stand Here I stand Through our devastation Here I stand Your gonna make it your only problem When you’re filling your head with sorrow Gonna make it your only problem When you’re filling your head with sorrow Deconstruct reconstruct Bend the mind to illusion Grabbing at straws In the movement Filled with disillusion Self doubt Undetermined confusion Spread in out We played it out Filled it out Tried to reach a solution Find our way back to the illusion Now were loosing What are we choosing What are we loosing Systematic confusion My heart gets lost in the movement Heart gets lost in the movement My heart gets lost in the movement My heart gets lost in the movement In the movement yeah
8.
Caught myself falling into the same trap again The one where I cannot win The one where it takes all of the love that I have And I have none left to give to myself Left to give to myself When I give all my love to somebody else Somebody else Somebody else Through all this distortion The feelings are foreign I’ve tried to deceive them But cannot receive them I’ve feared for the distance Distracted by longing I tried to resist this But cannot dismiss this I cannot dismiss this I cannot dismiss this I cannot dismiss this Caught myself falling into the same trap again The one where I cannot win The one where it takes all of the love that I have And I have none left to give to myself Left to give to myself When I give all my love to somebody else Somebody else Somebody else Lord Kirkus: Will isolation ruin a soul If the aloneness is the best part of the whole? Maybe I'm not the worst companion But I learn so much more alone With just a self and not even a reflection Thinking takes over if I pay attention... To the clues imagined in existence for me The world is unique, individually Language is art, in presentation, maybe Out on a limb of an invisible tree Without understanding, the words are lost Sounds not heard, the sun not seen... I elect to donate to the molecular breakdown And restore the ash to earth With me, friendships, learning this now Feels as innocent as birth I can tell you what it feels like But you really don’t want to know I can dream that it will be alright As it always continues to grow Books and advice go on for days But they don’t tell what is felt The consistency of it, is evil and stays On your mind like nothing else The day will come and I will choose Miserable longer? Or freedom and rest? This is an ending I’ll never wish upon you I’m trying to do my very best Minimal interest slowly drifting to the sea The failure consumes this offering There is no search party for the average emotion Acceptance, remains, all that we know of If love does not find us The envy may grow For one can not miss what he does not know If longing for feelings you did once have Time cares not, it will always pass credits
9.
Count down the ways I fall into myself Count down the ways I fall into myself I lost control of the situation And now I hit the floor without any kind of realization Of where to go And where do I go next And where do I go now And where do I go next And where do I go now And it’s so easy to be in between Consistently doubting the movement of parts Through shifts in the heart Direction unknown Failed to postpone Derived from distractions Through sources unknown Does anyone know Does anyone know Does anyone know Does anyone know I lost control of the situation And now I hit the floor without any kind of realization Of where to go And where do I go next And where do I go now It’s not a mystery Plain to see its misery Bringing out the worst in me It’s not a mystery Plain to see its misery Bringing out the worst in me And it’s so easy to be in between Consistently doubting the movement of parts Through shifts in the heart Direction unknown Failed to postpone Derived from distractions Through sources unknown Does anyone know Does anyone know Does anyone know Does anyone know
10.
Foundation starts to crumble When my heart is in trouble Oh what am I building Oh what am standing on Did I get lost in the substance Did I forget that I’m my own Did I forget that I’m my own Did I forget that I’m my own Did I forget that I’m my own Life’s ending Better jump quick Cause your hearts fading Better not move Cause your hearts breaking Hold onto yourself Don’t forget that you can help That you can help That you can help That you can help What is life without love What is love without life True to what you are feeling inside Feeling inside Let it grow from inside Learn to attract what you like Subtract what you don’t Leave it alone What no longer serves you It’s got to be gone Got to be gone Got to be gone Got to be gone Life’s ending Better jump quick Cause your hearts fading Better not move Cause your hearts breaking Hold onto yourself Don’t forget that you can help Reflect the love that you give Love the life that you live You can help yourself You can help yourself That you can help That you can help That you can help Let it grow from inside Learn to attract what you like Subtract what you don’t Leave it alone What no longer serves you It’s got to be gone Got to be gone Got to be gone Got to be gone Life’s ending Better jump quick Cause your hearts fading Better not move Cause your hearts breaking Hold onto yourself Don’t forget that you can help Reflect the love that you give Love the life that you live That you can help That you can help That you can help
11.
Slow Down 03:29
If it’s all repetition Is my love the condition So in and out So turned around So misguided by my thoughts Now I’m up and down Can’t sort it out Still living with these ghosts All of these ghosts All of these ghosts Coming back to haunt me I’m still trying to let go All of these ghosts All of these ghosts Coming back to haunt me I’m still trying to let go Still trying to learn and grow Still trying to love the darkest parts of my soul You can only push the dark out for so long Before it consumes you whole I am my own worst enemy Smoke and mirrors right in front of me Telling me oh Telling me no Telling me Slow down slow down Before you lose control
12.
I’m just gonna love myself Before I lose myself Learn to choose myself Before anyone else I’m telling myself to restrain Not to complain Just to regain All of my strength Filling my soul Asking for more And now I know I am exposed I am exposed I am exposed My bones carry softness My scars couldn’t stop this I chose to reflect this Create something different Find my true vision My reason for living My reason for giving It’s my reason for living It’s my reason for giving My reason for living My reason for giving My reason for living My reason for giving All of this All of this All of this All of this Coming back full circle Coming full circle All of this All of this All of this All of this Coming back full circle Coming back full circle All of this that you’re seeing The love that I’m giving The love that I’m feeling The love that I’m reeling All of this coming back full circle All of this coming back full circle All of this All of this All of this All of this Coming back full circle Coming full circle All of this All of this All of this All of this Coming back full circle Coming back full circle All of this that you’re seeing The love that I’m giving The love that I’m feeling The love that I’m reeling All of this coming back full circle All of this coming back full circle My bones carry softness My scars couldn’t stop this I chose to reflect this Create something different Find my true vision My reason for living My reason for giving It’s my reason for living It’s my reason for giving

about

Longing for things outside of ourselves can become a paradox; thinking that happiness is something that is provided by material possessions and other people can become toxic for us. They can contribute to our happiness but they should not become the source. This album is a reflection of those experiences. My hope is for this album to impact anyone feeling lost and unhappy in their life. I hope that it helps you get through it. I hope that it helps you grow. I hope that it inspires you.

The universe has always led me back to myself and during my lowest times being able to produce music that understood the range of emotions I was feeling at the time has meant everything to me.Thank you for sharing this with me and supporting me. I hope it brings you light in the darkest places. You are not alone. Reach out to me.

credits

released June 8, 2018

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Tangled Memories Portland, Oregon

Tangled Memories is the project of Portland based singer, songwriter, and producer Garett Pierre Rogers. Immersed within various genres including Trip-Hop, Downtempo, Trap, and Indie Electronica. Garett Pierre brings together Pop elements with bursts of EDM. ... more

contact / help

Contact Tangled Memories

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like Tangled Memories, you may also like: